i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is it penis luge time yet?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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