Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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