I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
