I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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