so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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