How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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