ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
