So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
