the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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