That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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