My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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