The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
