Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
