I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
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She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize