wat bout pragnant strippers??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
