did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize