How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
