I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just gargled with NyQuil
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
