So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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