question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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