"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize