I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
