i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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