Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
