dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
