I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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