Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
