Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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