My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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