Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
