How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
