she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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