Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
