Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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