how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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