Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
