I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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