how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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