he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
