it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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