he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
