the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
