found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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