Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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