Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
