similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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