So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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