Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
