You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
