So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
