some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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