so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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