i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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