Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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