haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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