I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
