i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
