Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
