He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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