we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
